


Star Crossed Lovers

by Doceo_Percepto



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bill is bored, Other, and au-ey, not so subtly implying that ford fucks the triangle, this is a relic of another fic i've accepted i will not finish, which is a nice way of saying a bit ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25777789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doceo_Percepto/pseuds/Doceo_Percepto
Summary: Bill's playing roles because being nothing is boring.
Relationships: Bill Cipher/Ford Pines
Kudos: 21





	Star Crossed Lovers

Bill Cipher loved humans. He really did.

Ford knew that. “Hnng… Bill… Ah…”

Bill Cipher hated humans. He really did.

Ford knew that, too. “Ff! _Ow_! God that hurt you sonofa- hhh…”

It was an interesting mix of both. Which of the two feelings dominated was liable to change at any moment. At the snap of his finger. At the crack of virgin bones.

Understand that Bill Cipher knew everything, which essentially meant he knew nothing. He knew both sides of every argument, he knew the scientific reasoning behind all the complexities of human behavior, he knew the past, present, and future. It was an obscene amount of knowledge to have acquired, and Bill couldn’t say he was fond of it. Of course, he loved and hated it, too. When you knew everything, you couldn’t help feeling for both sides almost all the time. You couldn’t help understanding both sides, sympathizing with both sides, simultaneously _being_ both sides.

Nonetheless, he didn’t have to like that. [He loved that.] He hated it.

There was no suspense, no mystery, no essential treasure to be uncovered. Bill watched humans fascinated by the most trivial of things – the discovery of electricity, planes, trains, television, the wheel, bifocal lenses, time travel, the pendulum…. They got to experience the gradual joy in discovery, change, transitions.

Bill never got to experience that, not really. Nothing to him was surprising or unexpected. Life, from the creation of the universe to its destruction, was like one big long movie composed of billions of individual character plots, all of which he’d watched to such a repetitious amount that he could recite every line perfectly. Which would, of course, take him as long as it took for the universe to be born, exist, and die.

In essence, life as partly omniscient dream demon was predictable, and dull.

But he was also immortal. And that meant he couldn’t die. Those little ant-humans that scuttled all over the face of the earth – they died all the time! There were so many of them, they just couldn’t stop dying, you blink your eye and _wham!_ There went another five hundred of them! It was obnoxious, really, those humans rubbing it in his face.

But he knew they didn’t mean to. They couldn’t help it, and they envied his immortality.

Just as he envied their mortality. Their mortality, in fact, may have been the sole motivator of his actions.

See, he needed _something_ to motivate him. Once, he’d spent exactly three hundred and forty six years, two months, and seventeen days moping about how existence was so predictable. In that time, he literally did nothing except watch those petty human lives play out in their sad little dramas and romances and comedies and horrors. But just _watching_ was a very boring way to play the very boring hand he was dealt.

Bill wanted to be a character in those little dramas.

And with his power, with his knowledge, he could be anything he wanted to be.

To a Catholic priest questioning his faith, he could be Satan descending to harvest souls. To an atheist, he could be God extending celestial assistance. To little children, he could be the monster under the bed. To tired lonely adults after a long day, he could be the romantic fantasy escape.

Thus started his… habits. Addictions. Fixes.

See, humans had a funny problem of getting stuck in certain life situations… even if those situations were bad. They constantly went back to the same negative places or people. They were cyclical, habitual. Creatures of habit; that was it.

And Bill must have picked up something of humanity along the way, because he started playing with the same line of humans in the same way, over and over and over and over again…

Not because he had to, but because by this point, he didn’t even know what else to do. Bring the apocalypse? Because then there’d be nothing and he’d be bored. Rule the world? But then he’d be known to everyone and he couldn’t play this little game.

“What are you thinking about?”

What a dumb question for someone as smart as Ford. But he couldn’t really be expected to think straight, not at the moment. His pupils were still blown a bit wide from pleasure and pain, and his fingers were caressing Bill’s side affectionately.

“All the secrets of the universe!” answered Bill cheerfully.

“No joke this time about human physiology?” Ford asked light-heartedly.

Bill rolled his eyes; the words came with familiar intimacy, “Guess I’m getting used to it, Sixer!” He could have said the same words a million times before. But he was trapped. He couldn’t get out of this cycle.

Ford laughed softly. His fingers still caressed Bill’s sides. He was so enraptured.

_There were one thousand two hundred and eighty seven before you, Sixer._

But Ford didn’t know that, and he never would.

Ford would go on believing that he was special. That Bill had taken a legitimate interest in him due to his intelligence – an intelligence that Ford genuinely thought was superior enough to attract the attention of a demon like Bill.

Bill laughed. Misunderstanding, Ford smiled. “You’re really odd, Bill.”

 _You’re really normal, Sixer._ _You aren’t anything special._ But Bill stayed at his side, let him believe they had something. Because Bill didn’t have anywhere else to be. There were no creatures like him. No places to be, no jobs, no life.

Sighing, Bill leaned back and looped one arm around Sixer’s back. “I’m really odd?” He barked a fake, high-pitched laugh. “This coming from the guy who was just fucked by a demon!”

“H-hey…” Ford shifted uncomfortably. “What about you, huh? Isn’t it a taboo or something to be with a human?”

“Oh, sure! My kind have a whole thing against it! But when it comes to you, Sixer, I can’t really stop myself.”

Ford brushed off the remark and insisted Bill was just messing with him. Ford was flattered.

Bill felt stuck.


End file.
